Teacher:‘What is your name?’
Student: ‘Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.’
Teacher: ‘When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.’
Student: ‘My name is Sunlight.

Teacher:What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

Teacher: What is the full form of maths?

Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday

Teacher: ‘Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? ‘
Johnny: ‘Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.’

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg…Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Masti On the Net

Be a Social Butterfly!

Be a Social Butterfly!

Obama after using fair & lovely ……

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Be a Social Butterfly!

Masti On the Net

If I were to choose the most ridiculous concept for a reality show on Indian television, I would zero in on “Rakhi ka Swayamvar” without any second thoughts. For those unaware, RKS is a reality show featuring Bollywood’s controversy and drama queen Rakhi Sawant along with sixteen male contestants fighting it out to win her hand in marriage. The show has the entire nation hooked and for a good reason too! Anyone who knows Rakhi Sawant and her weird antics cannot help wondering if she will (or rather, can) get married at all! But just as they say “there is someone out there for everyone”, Rakhi has taken everyone by shock by lining up not one but sixteen prospective grooms from different walks of life.

To believe that Rakhi would actually go out and marry the winning contestant would be to defy common sense. I have not followed the episodes but I am not willing to digest the fact that she she will take the vows with a reality show contestant. People I know who do watch the show strongly feel that it is rigged and that the results are predetermined. Makes lot of sense to me! Several news portals have been citing that the winner would be offered an imaginable sum of money if he agrees to give up the idea of marrying Rakhi. Producers assume that the guy would take the moolah and Rakhi would be able to retain her single status (for another season of the show, I wonder?). For now, an NRI called Elesh Parujanwala has emerged winner and the two have exchanged engagement rings on national television. According to Rakhi, the couple has decided to postpone their wedding by a few months to get to know each other better. We sure believe you lady! Within a couple of months, the whole hype surrounding the show would have died down and the guy would have been left out in the lurch!

Be a Social Butterfly!

The ‘arranged marriage’ phenomena is still extremely popular in India - only that annoying matchmaker aunties have been replaced by sleek matrimonial websites where users can control their privacy settings and dump a ‘prospective’ mate without exchanging any negative vibes.

Matchmaking aunties frequently come up with suggestions for a prospective groom (who may be her uncle’s wife’s cousin’s husband’s nephew). Phew, but that’s how it used to be not so many years ago. Once a few guys were zeroed upon, they took turns visiting to “see” the girl. The girl had to dress up demurely and put up a demonstration of all her domestic skills. That’s  precisely why I have been dodging my mom’s requests to check out “suitable matches”. A cousin of mine had a typical arranged marriage and I was by her side as she went through the entire bridal rigmarole. It was far more embarrassing than funny, to say the least. I was absolutely put off by the whole process though most Indian girls don’t seem to mind it a bit.

So where does that leave liberated and rebellious singles like me? In the lurch hanging on to a strand of hope that Mr. Right will walk by one day.

Thankfully for people like me, times are fast changing and more and more people are now opting for non-intrusive options like the internet. Not only matrimonial sites, even social networking sites like facebook.com and twitter.com offer interesting opportunities for singles to look for their Mr./Miss. Right. On a personal note, I find this trend a bit confusing and disconcerting but that’s maybe because I prefer to keep my personal life well, personal. I know of people who have overlapping matrimonial and social networking profiles. While matrimonial sites are strictly customized for the purpose, social networking contacts have reasonable access to your personal details, friends and even photographs. I don’t know if it is such a good idea to mix-up the two. Trends keep changing and who knows, this one may be here to stay!

Oh by the way, Aditi and Neha pushed me into creating a profile on Shaadi.com and it has been abuzz with weird invites and requests. There have been a couple of guys who made some sense to me but I’ve been way too skeptical to give them a fair try.

Be a Social Butterfly!

Ask any relationship expert (or a know-it-all) close friend and they would swear by the “be yourself” adage in order to snare a dream partner. Come to think of it, is it really the best bit of advice for singles? I mean, how many of us actually reveal our true selves to attractive members of the opposite sex? If we did, we would probably stay single forever!

If I were to be myself on a date, I would show up in track pants, tousled hair and zero make-up but I know that’s not going to get me anywhere. It is only natural for men and women to put their best foot forward and save the unpleasant surprises for later when they are out looking for a partner. How often has it happened that the guy you started dating gradually metamorphosed into a starkly different person? Or, how often have you kept your inner self guarded out of fear of rejection? I have noticed that people tend to unfold their personalities slowly and this largely depends on the confidence they have in the other person.

I personally believe that couples are more accepting of each other’s quirks once they reach a certain level of comfort and familiarity. For example, if a guy told me that he still sang nursery rhymes with his mom on a first date, it would probably freak me out. On the other hand, I would find it easier to come to terms with facets of his personality if they came forth after several months of being together. What do you think? Do you put up your best facade on a first date or do you present yourself just the way you are?

Be a Social Butterfly!

Indian chefs from world over are having a curious battle of sorts with Scottish authorities ever since a Scottish restaurateur claimed that chicken tikka masala (which incidentally, is the most popular dish in Britain after fish ‘n’ chips) originated in his restaurant sometime during the 1970’s. As if that was not enough, the guy went ahead and applied to the European Union to give the dish “Protected Designation of Origin” status!

Now, everything about chicken tikka masala is as desi as it can get. I mean, it certainly cannot fit in with bagpipes, scotch whiskeys and kilts! Even the elements of its name and the ingredients that go into it (except for “chicken” which is called “chicken” everywhere anyhow) are Indian. It certainly does not make any sense to push in a Scottish link to it.

The “copyright stealth’ had Indian chefs and foodies fuming in fury – after all, Chicken tikka masala is the USP of Indian cuisine abroad. Chefs and culinary enthusiasts who know their stuff can vouch for the fact that the dish has Mughal origins that can be traced back to centuries.

The Ali family (owners of Sheesh Mahal restaurant) in Glasgow claim that the concept of CTM emerged when a diner asked for some sauce to go with the chicken tikkas. The family apparently whipped up some gravy made from tomatoes, yoghurt and Indian spices. Even if that was true, it still does not make the dish Scottish!

Being a foodie and a huge CTM fan myself, I found the claim to be outright preposterous. C’mon guys, if chicken tikka masala is not Indian, then what is?

Be a Social Butterfly!

Be a Social Butterfly!