Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
‘Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.’
The little girl said, ‘No, Dad. You hold my hand.’
‘What’s the difference?’ Asked the puzzled father.
‘There’s a big difference,’ replied the little girl.

‘If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.’

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours…
This message is too short……but carries a lot of Feelings.

Be a Social Butterfly!

Masti On the Net

A lot of premium is put on how women look nowadays. A smartly turned out woman can go much further than a dowdy one. Be it on the job front or in day to day life, women are constantly judged by the way they look. And good looks to a large extent come from good health. A woman is the hub of a household and her health is crucial to the welfare of her family. Fitness is thus not just a fad, it is a necessity given the stresses of modern life. If she were to fall ill, the entire fabric would come tumbling down. Even if you live alone, it is essential that you feel good from within.

Consider the biology and neurology behind gender. Research has shown that not only women are more emotional they are more emotionally expressive too. Men do feel emotions but they are less expressive. Call it social conditioning or male stereotype, they are able to handle their emotions calmly and may come across as emotionally de-linked. Women, on the other hand are wired differently. Socially, it is ok for them to show emotions like joy, fear, sorrow or grief in various situations. In response to emotions like fear and aggression, while the male neurons send signals outside their body to their motor systems, women’s neurons shoot signals within their bodies making their hormone levels, heart beat, blood pressure, respiration and digestive system fluctuate rapidly. As you can see, these toxins get bottled up within a woman’s body, while men find a natural vent. So a good workout becomes essential for women and their wellbeing. See how estrogen levels impact your life – you feel acute pain when estrogen levels fluctuate, especially during menstruation. However, a higher level of the same hormone helps you bear the pain of childbirth.

Now that you know your body needs to keep fit so that you are emotionally fit as well, here are some suggestions to keep in good health.

Eat healthy

Many of us skip meals either to reduce weight or because of lack of time. This is the worst thing you could do to your body. Skipping meals will make you gain more weight as your body gets used to the fact that it may not get constant supply of food. Hence it tends to store fat rather than metabolize it.

Beware of comfort eating too – that’s something you do to fight emotional discomfort, not because your body needs that food. Don’t store foods that would entice you. Find other ways to bust stress otherwise you’ll end up piling on the pounds and hating yourself more for the way you look.

The trick is to eat nutritious, light portions 3-5 times a day. Be careful about fat, sugar and carbs but do not cut down on minerals and nutrients. Many choices are available today – low fat yogurts, cereal bars, nuts, salads and grilled fish and meats so take time to nourish your body. It is the only one you’ll have to last you a lifetime.

Reduce stressors

A lot of stress is dumped on us but there are some that we bring upon ourselves. If you can afford to slow down in some areas, you must absolutely do so. Set aside down time for relaxing and rejuvenating yourself. Indulge in activities that take you away from your stressful routine. Try nature walks, massages, yoga and spiritual pursuits. Physical intimacy also is a great stress-reliever.

Create your fitness regime

Since you know your body the best, work out the best way to keep fit. Swimming and brisk walking are gentle ways of keeping fit. You could try Pilates and Calisthenics too. If you like a vigorous workout, join aerobic classes or a gym or else jog in the park. This fitness plan would be hard to follow initially but don’t give up. If you keep at it, you would miss it when you break your routine.

Nurture your soul

Combating stress non-stop can wear out the sturdiest of the sturdy. So weave in breaks for yourself. You need not pack a suitcase and fly away but do things that make you happy whether they are meeting friends, visiting relatives, treating yourself visually to gardens or the seaside. Please your senses and the happy hormones that get released in your body will keep you both healthy and happy.

Be a Social Butterfly!

Wake up in the morning, rush after the kids, dress them, feed them, drive them down to school and come back to attend on your husband / partner. A nagging discomfort later on reminds you that you forgot breakfast and it’s already midday.  A dismal look around and you see household chores half done and your committee meeting looming large. You pray for more hours and energy and plunge into hectic activity once again. Sounds familiar?

If you are a single parent, you have the hardest cross to bear. Running the household, working hard and making up for the lack of male figure in the house. Life can be a never ending grind. When the kids are at school, there is some semblance of sanity. But when the long holidays come, you spend sleepless nights wondering how you would organize child care. With guilt, exhaustion and constant stress, life could not be harsher.

Then it’s you, the working mom. You seem to live life on the torture track with two equally powerful forces pulling you in opposite directions – work and family. If your boss is after your life at work, you don’t miss out on blood hounds at home! Relax; there is a way around all of this. No, not teaching you escapism. Just some real tools to make time for yourself.

Put back the focus on yourself

Don’t let the context define you, you define the context. Think of yourself as the mainstay of your life, the centre point. Visualization exercises can help you here. Start by exhaling stress. Let it flow out of your system. Then inhale deeply. Allow renewed energy to fill you up. Focus on yourself as an individual who is worthy of attention and care. You just need to find a few minutes in your day to put the spring back in your step. It could be the first thing in the morning or during your lunch break.

It’s ok to say no

Despite juggling so many things, you might feel inadequate if you are unable to take on more responsibilities or respond to more requests. You already do a huge lot. So don’t worry, it is absolutely fine to decline things you can’t handle or those that are beyond you. That’s not a judgment on your capability; it is a reflection of the severe constraints you operate within. So chin up and plod on.

Once a week, find time to do what you like best

Every woman enjoys doing something that others in the family may not be interested in. Don’t feel guilty about taking time out once a week to indulge yourself by doing just what you enjoy. It could be painting your toenails, a luxurious bath with candles, a massage or an intense jog in the park. This is your time and you have earned it. It would be hard initially but after a few weeks, you would find it much more guilt-free, enjoyable and uplifting.

Delegate, don’t be the last woman standing

If you allow yourself to be inflicted, you will be. Feel the power within you; define your role as well as those of others’ in the household. It is good practice for everyone to put their minds and hands to use. If you tire out and get irritable, you would be branded nasty. So don’t let it get to that point. Replenish yourself frequently and allow others to chip in with chores.

Work out a reward system

Very little in this world comes free. To spread smiles, work out a rota and relate a reward to it. Nothing random, but something that the recipient would cherish. Pocket money and games work wonders with kids. Boy’s toys are always welcomed by older boys! And your daughters might like a bit of pampering and dressing up. As for the commander in chief, reserve an extra special treat for yourself for synchronizing the entire system.

Remember you are only human with limitations so be kind to yourself. As Robin Sieger advises, ‘Believe in yourself. You were not born to fail. You do not need permission to be happy.’

Be a Social Butterfly!

Masti On the Net

There is a tide in the affairs of men,

Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune…

- William Shakespeare

The Bard, as usual, got it right, though we wish he’d specifically included women too in these famous lines! No matter. Worldwide, women entrepreneurs are foraying into every kind of business, from home-based start-ups to global enterprises. Odds like gender-specific obstacles make the ride a bumpy one.

Personality traits

While some of us are intrinsically more suited to the challenges of business than others, there are also incidences where circumstances have forced women to develop entrepreneurial traits.

For some women, the desire to be independent, born out of dissatisfaction with their work environment is what drives them to become entrepreneurs. For others, it’s the flexibility of setting one’s own schedule and pace that makes them switch from a career. What’s common to all is the ability to take risks, spot opportunities in adversity, and sheer persistence. Studies have also revealed that women as entrepreneurs tend to rely greatly on intuition and relationships vis-à-vis men, who lean towards logic and efficiency.

Where do I begin?

Whether you’re ambitious, savvy or a born risk-taker or someone with a Big Idea but no clue how to proceed further, consider some of these essentials:

· Belief in what you want. Does your gut tell you its good? Go for it. Even if things don’t pan out right, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you went into a project that meant something to you.

· Doing your homework: That great idea is not of much use if there are already a zillion me-too’s out there. Studying your market and having a business plan is vital. And before you take the leap, have you a safety net in place?

· Going solo is a misnomer. In truth, you’ll find yourself donning many roles – CEO, marketing whiz, accountant, customer care representative, copywriter and perhaps, cleaning lady.

Obstacles

Any business is bound to have starting problems. Being a woman at the helm brings its own peculiar set of roadblocks:

· Access to investment avenues is easier for men who network socially with bankers, lawyers and potential investors. Without such readymade systems, a woman has to find her way around, working consciously towards tapping these resources for money and information.

· Women still lack a sizeable number and variety of role models in business, whose experiences and knowledge they can draw upon.

· Balancing family responsibilities and the demands of a new business can be daunting.

· We are our own worst enemies – self-doubt is a woman’s biggest challenge.

Can I really do it?

· You don’t need specialized or formal education to start off. Experience and determination count for more.

Dorothy J. White took on home-cleaning jobs after years of marriage and kids to supplement her husband’s income. Her sincerity and hard work soon translated into an increasing number of referrals. When her husband suggested that she turn her job into a business, Dorothy was incredulous. How could she, a high-school pass out and member of a minority community, ever hope to succeed? But begin she did, in a small way. After homes came office-cleaning contracts. Slowly, the business grew, with Dorothy availing of government programs to help women and minorities. Miracle Services, Inc is now a multi-million dollar enterprise, with Dorothy as its President. An inspiring tale of what passion and hard work can achieve!

(Source: Women Entrepreneurs Only by Gregory K. Erickson, Ernst & Young)

· You don’t need wealth either to start off. Seed money can come from banks, family or investors who fund newcomers.

In 1959, seven poor, semi-literate housewives from Gujarat, India, borrowed Rs.80 (around US$2) from a moneylender and social worker. Why? To earn just enough to lead a dignified life. On the terrace of one home, they would roll out papads or lentil dough roundels that would be dried and packed for sale. Over the years, the tiny enterprise snowballed as more women joined up and the Sri Mahila Griha Udyog Lijjat Papad grew into a cooperative of 42,000 employees. Their unique business model has since won international recognition. Talk about womanpower!

· The Internet – thanks to its phenomenal reach and low-cost operation, small businesses can compete with established players. On the Net, age is no barrier, either.

“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.” That was Anita Roddick, late iconic founder of Body Shop. Now, there’s something to ponder about!

Skeletons in the Closet

Your nine-year old is deliriously awaiting his first Game Boy. The thirteen-year-old and his dad won’t eat until they’ve figured out everything about the hot, new mobile phone they’ve bought. Feeling left out, mom?

Or maybe you’re single, hetero and dating. You’re familiar with that sinking feeling that sets in when you pass by a techno-type display at the mall, and your hitherto attentive date gets that glazed look in his eyes. Uh oh. You could do the dance of the seven veils and the guy wouldn’t flicker an eyelash.

Technology has rewritten that old cliché about the way to a man’s heart being through his stomach. Just gift your significant other that hot gizmo he’s been dreaming of and watch the reaction (it’s another matter that in his newfound delight, he just might forget you altogether). Seriously though, understanding gadgets and how they work would go a long way towards figuring out why men love them so much.

There’s also the ‘child-within-the-man’ factor. Smart marketers figured that out long ago. The new thingy on the block, sporting sleek, space-age looks, hooks the little boy in your 45-year-old man.

What is it with guys and gadgets? Are they wired that way from birth? What about women – why are we different? Or are we?

Jokes apart, there’s often a practical value to acquiring gadgetry. A nifty power tool, for instance, gets work done fast. So, understanding the men in our lives is not the only reason for figuring out how stuff works. And perish the thought that women are wired differently. I’ve realized what it is that adults – grown women in particular – lack when it comes to being tech-savvy. Curiosity, for one and confidence, for another.

Also, the sheer effort of keeping up with information on technology can be pretty overwhelming, more so if you’re the kind who gets foxed even by a slightly sophisticated cordless phone. Still, to impress the man in your life, shouldn’t you consider updating your basic knowledge? He’ll be far more admiring of you than if you simply sport the cutest digicam ever or a trendy-looking mobile phone. Since technology advances with alarming rapidity, all you need to do is to keep up with the latest terminology.

Some examples:

RSS – Really Simple Syndication. How reassuring! If you’re on a website that you’d like to subscribe to, look for an orange square onscreen. Clicking on this enables you to subscribe to the RSS feed.

Podcast – An Internet version of a radio broadcast. Subscribing to it means you can listen to audio broadcasts over the Net or your iPod.

Nanotechnology – A science that studies the essential elements of life – molecules and atoms. By knowing how to manipulate them, scientists could one day make breakthrough discoveries in disease control, using nanotech robots called nanobots. Already, nanotechnology is being used to produce stain-resistant, no-wrinkle fabrics and advanced food packaging that helps retain freshness for longer.

Mash-up – Nothing to do with car accidents or potatoes! It’s a term used to describe a Web application where several sources of data are pooled to create a new tool or application. Google Maps is perhaps the most widely known example of a mash-up.

Web 2.0: This term’s a shape-shifter that means many things to many people! Basically, it’s an umbrella phrase used to describe the radical change in how the World Wide Web is being used since the early years of this millennium. The old Web (Web 1.0) essentially consisted of sites that were a set of published pages which you could only read. Web 2.0 turns this concept upside down, allowing you, the reader and user, to play an active role. Web 2.0 therefore allows the Internet to be used in a participatory, democratic fashion, allowing for more communication and creativity. Well-known examples: blogs and social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace; Wikipedia, where anyone is free to pitch in and add, edit or correct entries and the enormously popular You Tube.

Fascinating? Once you get started, you probably won’t want to stop. Start boning up now. The next time your man says he’s looking for a hotspot, you’ll know that’s a place which provides public Internet access and not a zone that’s too close to the sun! Also, if you don’t know, don’t be afraid to ask – it’ll show him you’re interested in something close to his heart and he’ll love you the more for your honesty.

Some of us simply freeze when it comes to learning how to actually use gadgets. Take heart, gals, it’s never too late to learn!

With the competition that prevails, gadget manufacturers strive for products that are simple and easy to work. But this is not about their qualities; it’s about your attitude. Go on, press those buttons – nothing’s going to explode! Still feeling faint-hearted? If there’s no one around, ask for help on the Net! Being a movie buff, I once joined a film discussion forum on the Net and was immediately intrigued by the fascinating photos of movie scenes (or screen captures) posted by other members. One lazy day, I googled a query; up came a site where a kind stranger had set out, (with pictures for the seriously challenged), a brief how-to on making screen caps. Was I pleased beyond imagining when I made my first screen cap – why, a fifth grader could have done it!

It’s hard to express the elation you experience when you’ve mastered something you thought was too daunting. There could be frustration on the way, but hang in. Learning how things work can be fun at any age with the added plus of being a confidence booster. Go for it, unleash the geek goddess within!

Skeletons in the Closet

1) GenNext Designers at Lakme India Fahion Week 2009

2) Bollywood Designer Neeta Lullas collection at Lakme Fashion

3) Manish Malhotra collection at Lakme Fashion Week

Masti On the Net

1) Bollywood celebrities at Lakme India Fashion week 2009

2) Kajol , Shahrukh , Hrithik , Kareena at Lakme India Fashion Show 2009

3) Bollywood babe Katrina Kaifs Barbie look

Masti On the Net